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vulpinevinegar
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Name: Rebecca
Gender: Female
Expertise: i fart 14 times a day or more. sometimes up to 56 times a day. you know, if i eat beans or broccoli or something like that. i have had warts, up to 15. mostly on my fingers. i yanked one out on my last birthday. i like pickles. they look like they have warts too.
Message: message me
MSN: bex2518@hotmail.com
Yahoo:  reccabec49
Member Since:
4/3/2005
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| The point of this is to say, that I don't understand myself. I don't like obsessing over guys, but for some reason, taking a stand against the problem, only has seemed to make me more susceptible to it. My problem is this: ever since I was twelve and the media informed me that musicians, artists, and poets while being very deep and unusually attractive would not be faithful and every girl should stay away from them, I have done my best to avoid them. Unfortunately my best has included dating one. What is wrong with me? The latest crush... a musician. | | |
| I hate when people tell me what to do. I have a friend and I like her quite a lot. And she tells me what to do. But I've always asked, and she's always listened. She might even ask a question or two, before she tells me what to do. And sometimes I listen, and sometimes I frown, but either way, it goes around. Our conversation is started and it might never end, because we are walking up different rivers but stepping ending up at many of the same impasses. But my good friend, well, she has a friend. And her friend tells me what to do. She doesn't listen to me, or care about where I'm coming from. She doesn't answer my questions. She doesn't understand. But she thinks she does. She thinks she's better. She thinks she knows. But she doesn't. And that annoys me more than anything. I don't know what to say, so I smile and nod and avoid her in the future. Tonight my roommate told me what to do, and that always makes me not want to do it. It reminded me of living with Rachel in the far away Chiang Rai. Where she would tell me to clean the room and I would let the mess grow just because she had mentioned it. Funny. It just annoys me so much. I want to do thinks because I want to do them not because YOU want me to do them. And right now I think I want to sleep. | | |
| I am in a foul mood. I do not want to speak to anyone. I do not want to do anything. I cannot. I will snap and gripe. I am in a foul mood. I have taken on too much and now I regret it. Sometimes I happily do what I have decided to do, but not all the time. There must be a way that I can fix my life. But there is no way, seemingly. I think I need to stay here for fall break. I don’t know what else I can do to cure my ruthless comments. In these times my unkind nature comes out and I am amazed that anyone stands my presence. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and think not of homework and responsibilities but no, instead I must go and organize my organization and put others to work, encouraging and… chipper. | | |
| There are times when it could be said, I simply don't like my life. Tonight is one of those times. I just said goodbye to my sister. I won't see her until Christmas, she won't even have a phone for the next semester. And when I start thinking about Christmas, and going home to Thailand I start thinking about buying my tickets-- which I really need to do. Then I start thinking about paying my bill for school and thinking about applying for loans online which should have been done two days ago. That gets me started thinking about school and books and classes and work and basically I end up worrying about worrying. So, classes start next Tuesday. I have most of my books but I still have things to do to get ready for everything. I am working an eight hour shift 4 of the 5 days before classes start and I'm pooped. Apparently once you start growing up you just can't stop. I would like to stop. I would like to live with my parents again and let them take care of things. But I also understand that I don't want that. I'm just a little mixed up in this life. There are too many things to do and not enough hours for sleep. I've had a really great summer. It has been full of relaxation and great people. I traveled to see people, I spent time with my extended family and I relaxed. But now the school year is starting. Now back to life. | | |
| The other night my friend told me that I needed to post entries here more often. Since I have thought much about what I should write. I laugh at myself because I start writing xanga entries in my head while I'm thinking. I stop thinking in my normal random mixed up pattern and start thinking in sentences that I can't wait to write here in this box. I can't help thinking sometimes that it's time to put fiction away. To put away what is fake in my life. My science fiction books and the silly TV shows I watch. Maybe it's time to put them away and invest my time in something real and important. It's time to spend my time learning. The fact that I can draw out the family trees in some of my science fiction novels and yet I can't recognize the flags of countries on this planet. I disappoint myself. My choices disappoint me even as I make them. It's like spending 50 dollars at walmart. Or staying up til 2 watching NCIS. | | |
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